Let's Get Down to Business!

The "I'll Make a Man Out of You" training montage song has a strange way of popping up all over the internet. It can strike anywhere, at any time. All it takes is a random commenter to say "Let's get down to business" and the thread is instantly derailed -- for good reason, of course! While I can't say I exactly understand why this particular song from 1998's Mulan is such a hit right now, neither would I do anything to change that.

I am as amused as anyone that this song has become something of a pseudo-meme lately, and thought I'd pay tribute by putting a gaming spin on it. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to write new lyrics that parody a certain subset of the "hardcore" Guild Wars 2 community.


First, for reference, here's the original song from Mulan :




And now, I humbly submit my Guild Wars 2 re-write, dedicated to DPS-crazed, dungeon-farming "meta" gamers:


Lets get down to business
and exploit the bugs!
When I wipe the party,
shift the blame on PUGs.

You're the lamest n00bs in LFG

I can see before we're done
I'll ragequit CoF Path 1

Power and Precision

and Ferocity!
Practice your rotation,
stack your boons on me!

You're a bunch of filthy casuals.
Who says games were meant for fun?
I'll ragequit CoF Path 1

I never win in PvP,
only cuz that mode is broken!
Highest deeps you've ever seen, even wearing greens!
Just stand around in Queensdale zergs
wearing my Commander token.
YouTube: Personal Story Ending Scenes

D P S
You gotta roll a berzerker warrior
D P S
or don't complain if you get harassed
D P S
As fun to group with as forum trollers,
As practical as a cannon made of glass!

DOTs are ticking on us
It's a damage race
Nuking all the bosses
while my dubstep plays

Though I miss my gear with Magic Find

I don't mind more farming runs:
"Only zerks, CoF Path 1"

D P S
You gotta roll a berzerker warrior
D P S
or don't complain if you get harassed
D P S
As fun to group with as forum trollers,
As practical as a cannon made of glass!