April 21, 2014

Let's Get Down to Business!

Living Myth - Guild Wars 2 Mulan

The "I'll Make a Man Out of You" training montage song has a strange way of popping up all over the internet. It can strike anywhere, at any time. All it takes is a random commenter to say "Let's get down to business" and the thread is instantly derailed -- for good reason, of course! While I can't say I exactly understand why this particular song from 1998's Mulan is such a hit right now, neither would I do anything to change that.

I am as amused as anyone that this song has become something of a pseudo-meme lately, and thought I'd pay tribute by putting a gaming spin on it. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to write new lyrics that parody a certain subset of the "hardcore" Guild Wars 2 community.


First, for reference, here's the original song from Mulan :




And now, I humbly submit my Guild Wars 2 re-write, dedicated to DPS-crazed, dungeon-farming "meta" gamers:


Lets get down to business
and exploit the bugs!
When I wipe the party,
shift the blame on PUGs.


You're the lamest n00bs in LFG
I can see before we're done
I'll ragequit CoF Path 1


Power and Precision
and Ferocity!
Practice your rotation,
stack your boons on me!

You're a bunch of filthy casuals.
Who says games were meant for fun?
I'll ragequit CoF Path 1


I never win in PvP,
only cuz that mode is broken!
Highest deeps you've ever seen, even wearing greens!
Just stand around in Queensdale zergs
wearing my Commander token.
YouTube: Personal Story Ending Scenes


D P S
You gotta roll a berzerker warrior
D P S
or don't complain if you get harassed
D P S
As fun to group with as forum trollers,
As practical as a cannon made of glass!


DOTs are ticking on us
It's a damage race
Nuking all the bosses
while my dubstep plays

Though I miss my gear with Magic Find
I don't mind more farming runs:
"Only zerks, CoF Path 1"


D P S
You gotta roll a berzerker warrior
D P S
or don't complain if you get harassed
D P S
As fun to group with as forum trollers,
As practical as a cannon made of glass!



6 comments:

  1. Record it or i will. ;D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please, feel free! That would make my day. :-)

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  2. Replies
    1. Go for it!! Would be thrilled to hear the result. :-)

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  3. This is perfect along to the music. I've got to hear this recorded. +1 for no vulgarity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heh, thanks! :-)
      I have no musical talent, but I have imagined it in my head several times and it would be amazing to hear. It would be great if somebody out there adapted it though!

      Delete